Point of Contention
by AspieSays
Summary: At an interlude in a park, the Doctor's frustration about Romana's personality comes to a fore. AU.


Romana seemed to have a permenantly serene look in her eyes at present, even when eating a picnic in the park, it seemed. Amy had told her she wished she had such interesting, dark eyes, but to the Doctor, it seemed as though she was in a state of admiration for her calm demeanour. Amy had no right to talk anyway, with her cheeky face, he reasoned.

They had packed lunches, arranged of course by Romana. The Doctor wasn't sure whether he liked this as a reward.

"Are you going to eat those?" The Doctor asked, eyeing the small sandwiches Romana was eating.

He wished she'd tie her hair back, she almost got mouthfuls of her silvery blonde hair in the process, and he wanted to push them out of the way. In fact he wanted to 'accidently' get bright purple juice on her white blouse, but stopped himself, judging this slightly sociopathic. Plus he had soft spot for her pencil skirt, which was a similar pattern to his jacket.

"No, I packed them intending for them to go rotten!"

"Ha, ha. Can I have one?"

She grinned, and gave him a look of mock admonishment.

"You've had yours."

"Yeah, but I just had to talk my way out of the mouth of a Flame Tusked Giant Lemur. The thanks I get for dealing in animal rights!"

He held up his hand, which had a burn across the top, covered in salve. He had already had to change his clothes after they were singed.

"No. These are mine. Drink your juice."

The Doctor pouted, and took the carton from her and watched with disdain as she sipped hers. He then folded his arms and put his head down, so all he could see was the wooden table. Romana sighed and fished a small package of foil from a small cream bag, which contained half a bar of chocolate.

The slightly purple grass was moving subtly in the breeze, and there was bright sunshine. Three humanoid children, perhaps about seven, with green-tinged skin, scurried past, heading for the swings. Their parents were several feet behind. The mother sighed and gesticulated despondently.

"I said, I said he could have one friend! D'you see? Argh!"

The Doctor's eyes peeked above his arms and he watched Romana unfold the chocolate.

"Hey, you have chocolate?"

"Would you like some?"

"No," he said insolently.

"D'you want to come back when everyone's gone and go on the swings?"

"Yes."

"Good, we have a plan."

The Doctor scoffed and returned to staring down at the table.

"Relax, it's a joke."

"I can't tell that you're joking."

"Exactly."

The Doctor promptly got up to walk away, but his foot caught on the metal connecting the seat to the table of the bench and fell flat on his face.

Romana sighed.

"I must get a camera."

He got up and pointed at her.

"You! You are the most annoying person in the entire cosmos!"

He frowned at her, and then realised he had bits of grass still stuck to his face.

"Point still stands!" he added.

He marched away, scoffing and raising his arms, his fingers clenched slightly in a gesture of wanting to pull his hair out.

Romana shook her head, smiled serenely and ate her chocolate. He glanced back at her, and the nearest tree got a kick.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and patted the trunk. "It's not you."

He walked fast.

"AMY! WE'RE GOING!"

He growled audibly.

"HEY! AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?"

He rounded a corner and found Amy feeding the ducks at the bottom of a grassy bank. Rory was watching from the top, eating chips from paper.

Rory looked startled.

"Ssh. Ducks!"

He gestured towards the pond full of slightly orange-coloured ducks, who promptly flapped in alarm at the Doctor's shouted. Amy squealed and ran back up the bank as they began to take off in a panic.

"What kind of bloody ducks are those?"

"You stupid idiot!"

"What?"

"Don't-go-round-shouting!" Amy added, hitting him with each word.

She stalked off around the corner and both men followed.

"What're you shouting about anyway?" she demanded, as the walked quickly to keep up with her.

"Long story."

Romana almost collided with them.

"Ready to go?"

"No, actually," the Doctor replied smugly. "I was thinking of staying."

"Just frightening the birds, as usual..."

"Is it gang up on someone day?"

"Stop being a baby."

"Is it...is it patronise someone day, then?"

"What the hell is up with you?"

He looked to Amy.

"ME? ME? You are joking! Seriously, go occupy her before I say something awful!"

He pointed at Romana and stalked off. About thirty seconds later, they could hear a wooden door slam in the distance.

"What've you supposed to have done?" Amy said, bemused.

"I don't think he liked the joke," Romana said softly.

"Come on we'll leave ego-trip and come back later."

Rory offered her a chip, but it was Amy who grabbed one. Rory gave Romana a sympathetic look.

"He's scary when he's angry. Don't tell him I said that-"

"No matter. Men are childish by nature. He's never been comfortable with the fact I may be cleverer than him."

"Ha! Brilliant!"

Just then there were footsteps behind them.

"Exam results aren't the be all and end all, you know. You know what, forget it!"

He then promptly walk away again.

"You're so rude," Amy added.

"So's she!" he pointed again.

"See! It's rude to point!"

Rory nudged her.

"Please don't take sides..." he whispered.

"D'you mind telling me what the hell is wrong with you?"

"'Drink your juice.' Who d'you think you are, my mother?"

"It's just a joke."

"Yeah, but it's all the time. One day without the same stupid skit, is that too much to ask? Geez, from looking like my mother, to pretending you are, it never ends!"

"Well, you do play on the clueless child thing. It's just a joke. I'll stop it if it irritates you."

"See, again, lording it over! You know it does, you've known for ages. You know what you're doing. Smug."

Rory looked from side to side and was well aware that people were beginning to stare.

Amy attempted to get them to go somewhere else, but the Doctor glared at her and she backed off, and stood with Rory, who was gradually backing away and was now three feet further back. She rolled her eyes.

"If he wants to make a fool of himself that's fine by me."

"Who are you calling smug, smart-aleck of the century?"

"Pot and kettle!"

"You're such a drama queen. Not as much as Speccy but almost."

"You know what, call me when you've learnt to be objective."

"You know, I'd prefer him right now, that's saying something!"

"Oh, two incarnations at once, great!"

"Stop being an idiot, then!"

"Look what's talking."

"I think she's going to jump on him," Rory mused.

By this point, their faces were almost touching.

"Get a life, you egotistical arse!"

"Again- POT-AND-KETTLE!" he shouted.

"GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR!"

"I HAVE ONE! THIS IS LATENT SUPERIORITY AND YOU KNOW IT! A JOKE! Whatever...!"

"YOU SELF-INVOLVED IDIOT!"

"SHOW-OFF!"

"EGOTIST!"

"BOSSY! OH AND BY THE WAY, YOU MEAN EGOIST, SILLY!"

"OH, SO YOU ADMIT IT!"

The Doctor screamed in frustration.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!"

"ARGH!"

"I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T PUT UP WITH THIS!"

"YOU COMPLETE IDIOT!"

"I CAN'T! I CAN'T BE HERE!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"WHAT AM I DOING?" The Doctor yelled. "SHOUTING!"

"OH, HA, HA!"

"YES! HA!"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"NOTHING!"

"WHAT?"

"YOU!"

The small crowd cheered. Amy who was looking the other way, turned around.

"What the hell?"

Romana had been lifted up off the floor, and Amy thought the Doctor looked like he was trying eat her face.

"Great," Rory concluded, as they toppled over.

Amy looked mildly impressed. She put her head on Rory's shoulder. It looked as if the Doctor had waited hundreds of years for this.


End file.
